Pride and Humility
In this sermon, we begin out study of Proverbs 10-31 by looking at what they teach us about pride and humility.
Resources:
Proverbs 11:2, 13:10, 15:33, 16:5, 16:19, 21:4, 21:29, 25:27, 27:2, 27:21, 29:1, 29:23, 30:11-14
The Book of Proverbs (Chapters 1-15, NICOT), Bruce Waltke
Proverbs: Wisdom that Works, Ray Ortlund
St. John Chrysostom: Commentary on the Sages: Commentary on Proverbs and Ecclesiastes, translated by Robert C. Hill
Proverbs, Charles Bridges
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Sermon Transcript
One of my highlights of 2024 was the 3-month sabbatical you all gave me. I did many things on it, many of which I’ve shared with those of you who were around last fall, but one I didn’t talk about much was a round of golf I played with Vinh, a member here, and Kevin, a friend of mine in the neighborhood. The weather was nice, the conversation was good, and I enjoyed my sandwich at the clubhouse after we finished the round. I shot an 82…on the front 9. The good news is I did better on the back and ended the day with a bona fide 156. For those of you don’t play golf, that’s really, really, bad. I’m not really bad for lack of effort, either. Years ago I had a golf phase, and one of the big problems I identified was that I sliced my drives. I aim straight, they go way right, like onto the wrong fairway or into the woods. So I start aiming left, and I still have the same problem. Realizing that wasn’t working, I did what any of us would do now days: I hit YouTube, and one of the videos I watched gave me really counterintuitive advice: Aim right. The guy on the video even said, “It’s a funny game, this golf.” If you want to stop hitting the ball to the right, aim right.
Well, there are similar oddities in the real world. Today we’re jumping back into the book of Proverbs after a little break around the holidays, and we’re starting a series of topical sermons on some of the most important topics that Proverbs 10-31 address. Proverbs 1-9, which we preached through on Sundays last fall, was intended to prepare us for these proverbs, these single verse summaries of wisdom. What is wisdom? Wisdom is the art of perceiving reality and living in accordance with it, and in each proverb that wisdom is distilled down in such a way that we can remember it, apply it to our lives, and pass it on to others. But the topics they cover from verse to verse are so various that rather than tying to preach sequentially through them, we’re gathering all the proverbs on a particular topic and hitting them each, topic by topic. To be honest, I don’t generally like that approach to preaching, and it’s not what we normally do here. Normally we preach sequentially through books of the Bible, but Proverbs 10-31 is the one part of the Bible that just doesn’t seem to lend itself to that very readily. So for the next 14 weeks the plan is to cover it this way, and then get back into preaching sequentially through books of the Bible as fast as we can. Today’s topic is pride and humility, and it is one of those aspects of reality that, like fixing a golf slice, is a bit funny. The proud aim high at glory for themselves and end up being brought low, while the humble aim low, and end up exalted. Proverbs 29:23 says One’s pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor, and that’s a pretty good summary of the teaching of proverbs on pride and humility. We’ll dig deeper into it today by looking at the marks of pride and humility, the seat of pride and humility, the consequences of pride and humility, and then finally at some ways to weaken pride and cultivate humility.
The marks of pride and humility
As we consider the Proverbs on pride and humility, one frustrating feature of them, frustrating to me at least, that I suspect will reoccur throughout this series of topical sermons is that no one Proverb gives us a definition of pride or humility. Proverbs aren’t like that. They’re concrete, rather than abstract. So instead of defining pride and humility in some general sense, what the Proverbs do is paint a picture for us of pride and humility. One such picture appears in Proverbs 13:10 – “By insolence comes nothing but strife, but with those who take advice is wisdom.” There the word translated insolence is the same Hebrew word translated pride in Proverbs 11:2 – “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom.” Elsewhere in the Bible the word is translated presumption. The first two examples of it in the Bible come from the book of Deuteronomy. In the first, one acts presumptuously by refusing to obey the priest God has ordained to that office (Deut 17:12). The next is one who claims to speak in the name of the LORD when the LORD has not sent him (Deut 18:22). So in one the proud reject the authority of the priest; in the other, the proud try to take upon themselves the authority of the prophet, when God has not given it.
So one basic mark of pride is an unwillingness to accept one’s position in the social hierarchy God has ordained, and that can show itself either by despising, disrespecting, and being unwilling to obey those God has given authority over you, or it can show itself by seizing for yourself an authority God has not given you. Now let me clarify: Not all social hierarchies are according to God’s institution; some exist as a result of injustice. Africans who did not obey their slave masters in America were not necessarily proud, nor were the apostles wrong to obey God rather than man when the Jewish leadership of their day told them to stop preaching the gospel, nor were the Protestant reformers wrong to disobey the Roman Catholic priesthood in their day when they told them to stop preaching the gospel. In each of these cases, an appeal was made to a higher authority, namely the authority of God himself, who forbade manstealing and commissioned the church to go and preach the gospel. It is not pride to resist a lower authority out of submission to a higher authority; it is pride to resist being under any authority or to seize an authority for yourself God has not given you.
Again, to be careful here, that doesn’t even mean you cannot desire greater authority. There is a way to look at your workplace and desire to take on a supervisory role you do not currently have that isn’t a manifestation of pride. Pride shows itself, though, when you refuse to submit to the boss you currently have, or when you start trying to act like the boss toward the boss or your fellow employees, when you simply are not at the moment. How’s it hit you when your boss makes a decision and simply tells you to execute it? Is your first instinct typically to resist? How’s it hit you when you have an idea you think is better, you share it, and your boss still just tells you to do what she decided? Do you find yourself making assumptions about your boss’ motives, developing a whole narrative about her in your mind, and maybe even trying to win other co-workers to “your side”? Those are some marks of pride.
We’ve got whole sermons coming on proverbs on authority and justice, but for now I’ll just say that the authorities God has instituted in scripture are bosses over employees, parents over children, husbands over wives, elders over churches, churches over professing Christians, and governments over citizens. How do those hit you? How about even the use of the word “over”? We aren’t doing great with this as a culture. Many of our heroes are those who resisted authority: The founding fathers of the nation, Martin Luther King, Jr., and again, there are times when justice requires such resistance, but we should not assume that all resistance to authority is coming from a genuine concern for justice. In many cases, there is a simpler explanation: Pride.
It should come as no surprise, then, that another mark of pride is an unwillingness to take advice. Did you catch that contrast in Proverbs 13:10? “By insolence comes nothing but strife, but with those who take advice is wisdom.” Because what does taking advice mean? It means admitting that someone, maybe even someone who is not in a higher position than you, maybe even someone in a lower position than you, has wisdom that you lack. Proverbs 21:29 says a wicked man puts on a bold face: There’s a mark of pride, a bold face while walking the path of wickedness. I’ve got a desire, so I’m going to act on it, no matter how much wise people tell me not to. Instead of seeking advice from wise people who may actually contradict what they want, the proud simply do what they want and announce it to others.
The humble, on the other hand, are of course those who do the opposite. Proverbs 21:29 says, “A wicked man puts on a bold face, but the upright gives thought to his ways.” The humble are less sure of themselves than the proud. The humble are not less sure of the Lord; if he says it, the humble response is to believe what he says is true and do what he commands. It’s actually pride to filter what he says through our own understanding before believing it. But the humble are going to take the time to try to figure out what God says, they’re going to seek advice from other wise individuals on that question, even ones who might contradict what they already want. And the humble accept the position God has assigned them, happily submitting to the authority of those whose authority they are truly under, and not attempting to impose an authority on others that God has not given them.
Finally, we can see the marks of pride and humility in how we relate to the materially poor, those who are low in the world. Proverbs 30:13-14 says, “There are those—how lofty are their eyes, how high their eyelids lift! There are those whose teeth are swords, whose fangs are knives, to devour the poor from off the earth, the needy from among mankind.” The proud look down on and therefore feel free to oppress the poor, whereas those who are lowly in spirit are willing to even associate with the poor: “It is better to be of a lowly spirit with the poor than to divide the spoil with the proud” (Prov 16:19). The humble are willing to be poor themselves if that is where the path of obedience to God leads them, and the humble are willing to associate with the poor in loving relationship, around their dinner table, for example.
How you respond to authority, how you respond to advice, how you respond to correction, how you make decisions, how you treat the poor…These are some of the windows into the presence of pride or humility in your life. They are like when you go in to the doctor and the doctor taps your knee with the rubber hammer, shines a light in your ear, and puts the stethoscope on various parts of your body as you inhale and exhale. But they’re typically checking those things not so much to check those things—they’re checking those things to see what they reveal about what’s going on inside your body. So also, these things are marks of pride and humility, but the seat of pride or humility is actually in your heart. So let’s talk about the seat of pride and humility.
The seat of pride and humility
See don’t start thinking that you can rid yourself of pride and put on humility by just doing what your boss tells you to do, not bossing others around, taking advice, being a bit more careful in your decision making, and being nice to the poor. You either do or don’t do those things because of the presence of pride or humility in your heart, so you can’t just change those behaviors deeply and sustainably without dealing with your heart. Proverbs 16:5 says “Everyone who is arrogant in heart is an abomination to the LORD.” Where is arrogance there? In heart. Proverbs 18:12 says “Before destruction a man’s heart is haughty.” What’s haughty? His heart. Proverbs 21:4 speaks of “haughty eyes and a proud heart.” What are haughty eyes? They are eyes that are constantly looking up, not at God, but at a higher position, a higher glory, for oneself. Other places in the Bible when the word pride is used it has that connotation of “height”—sometimes literally of those who built fortifications for themselves in high places, built high towers, and then thought that somehow made them great or safe (e.g., Gen 11:1-9, Jer 49:16).
The seat of humility is also in the heart. Proverbs 16:19 says, “It is better to be of a lowly spirit with the poor than to divide the spoil with the proud.” What’s the opposite of pride there? A lowly spirit. Proverbs 29:23 says, “One’s pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor.” Opposite of pride? Lowly in spirit. See the contrast with haughty eyes? Instead of constantly looking up to gain greater glory or position for oneself, those of a lowly spirit are willing to accept a lower position and even look for ways to stoop lower in the service of others. “Heart” and “spirit” in the Bible are both different ways of talking about the inner man, the immaterial aspect of our being, which sets the course of our lives, and it’s in there that pride or humility take their seat. It’s possible for someone to be quite wealthy and hold a prestigious position in society while still being quite humble, though it’s difficult—inside they’re pretty unimpressed with it all, could easily be content with less, and feel the reality of how far short they fall in the things that really matter. It’s also possible for someone to be quite poor and low in society while not having a lowly spirit; inside they resent the wealthy and famous and wish they were one of them.
What causes these two sorts of hearts or spirits to differ, pride and humility that is? Proverbs 15:33 gets at the nub of the issue: “The fear of the LORD is instruction in wisdom, and humility comes before honor.” A big tip for reading Proverbs that you’ve probably already noticed me doing: Note the parallels. Here parallel to humility is the fear of the LORD. What’s the essence of humility on a heart level? What makes for a lowly spirit? The fear of the LORD. I mentioned earlier the various authority relationships God has instituted between humans, but why is it that God gets to be the one to institute them? Because he is the ultimate authority! He’s the one above us all! No matter how “high” you get, he’ll always be over you. In C.S. Lewis’ great chapter on humility, he writes, “In God you come up against something which is in every respect immeasurably superior to yourself. Unless you know God as that—and, therefore, know yourself as nothing in comparison—you do not know God at all.”
Let’s tease that out a bit. God revealed his name as simply, “I AM”, because God is the one being whose essence it is to exist. He was created by no one, he is sustained by no one, he is dependent on no one. He simply is. You depended on two parents to give you birth and at least one to constantly attend to your every need for the first few years of your life or you’d be dead. Even now, if you were simply deprived of oxygen for a few minutes, you’d be dead. He is fully present at all times and places; you’ve been on one planet in a vast solar system in a vast galaxy in a vast universe for under a hundred years, and even within that space, you take up about 5-6 feet of it. We can measure your height with a tape measure; God measured the galaxies in the palm of his hand. You speak, and not much happens. God spoke, and everything that exists came into being. Whatever he pleases, he does; every day you have things you wish you could do that you can’t. He knows all things because he created and ordained whatsoever comes to pass. He knows all things like an author knows all that happens in one of his books; you can’t even read all the books on your bookshelf, and you’ve forgotten most of what you’ve learned. He never changes, while our love for him is like the morning dew—there for a moment, gone the next. He is just, while our anger is so often a petty attempt to get our way. He is a fountain of life, while we are so often consumers of life. He keeps his promises; we struggle to remember ours. He is gracious and merciful; we can be so harsh and resentful.
We are creatures; he is the creator. We are sinners; he is holy. He is over us, and he always will be. How’s that hit you? In your heart, do you resist it, or rejoice in it? That’s the essential difference between pride and humility, and from it flows how you respond to the human authorities God puts in your life, the place in society he assigns you, the decisions you make, the correction you get, how you treat the poor. And why does that matter? Consider the consequences of pride and humility.
The consequences of pride and humility
Of all the proverbs on pride and humility, most of them are about this, and that’s in part because most proverbs in general are about this. Wisdom is a different perspective from law. Law asks, “What’s right?” Wisdom asks, “What works?” And I don’t mean to imply that those are unrelated; what’s right does work best eternally, and it is right to do what works best eternally. But it is a different perspective. Wisdom is oriented more toward outcomes or consequences, so what are the basic consequences of pride and humility? “One’s pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor” (Prov 29:23). That’s the headline. The proud, the ones with haughty eyes and an arrogant heart, the ones who are constantly trying to exalt themselves to a higher position above even God and resist anyone or any advice being above them, will end up low in the end, while those of a lowly spirit, those who feared the Lord, accepted the station in life he assigned them, and were therefore willing to be instructed in his wisdom, are those who end up obtaining honor.
This often shows itself in the course of our lives. You think you know it all already so you don’t study for a test. What happens? You fail. You think you have plenty of money so you kinda loosen up on your spending. What happens? You end up in debt. You think you can keep yourself holy so you loosen up on reading your Bible, praying, attending worship gatherings. What happens? Your heart starts to drift from the Lord. You think you’re not too susceptible to temptation so you walk into tempting situations without telling anyone or asking for prayer or putting fences up. What happens? You fall into sin. If you cut against the grain of reality, eventually reality wins. You aren’t God, and if you try to cut against that reality, eventually you’ll be brought low.
We already saw another way the consequences manifest themselves in this life in Proverbs 13:10 – “By insolence comes nothing but strife.” If you do habitually disagree with your boss, suspect their motives, and try to win others to your side, you see what the consequence of that will be in your workplace? Strife. And what are the odds that when the bosses get together and decide to whom to give a promotion your boss will be suggesting your name? Might she not be more likely to suggest the employee who actually does what she asks, doesn’t complain, speaks about her in an encouraging way, trusts her, and finds ways to serve others in even mundane, seemingly undesirable ways? And so it is often the case that even in this life, the one who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor, while one’s pride will bring him low.
And that’s because God has not only created our world to function in that way; it’s because God is still actively ruling over this world, and he hates pride. Proverbs 16:5 says, “Everyone who is arrogant in heart is an abomination to the LORD; be assured, he will not go unpunished.” What does the LORD abominate? Everyone who is arrogant in heart. He hates neither the rich nor the poor per se; he hates the rich who are arrogant in heart, the poor who are arrogant in heart, the middle-class who are arrogant in heart. They are an abomination to him, the text says. And that’s not because he’s kind of petty; his hatred of pride is a revelation of his justice. Because God is just, he hates what is evil, and pride is evil. Proverbs 21:4 puts it simply: “Haughty eyes and a proud heart, the lamp of the wicked, are sin.”
Since God is the creator, it is right that he be recognized and treated as such. Since God is actually over us in being, glory, and power, it is right that he be recognized and treated as such. If Andy Warhol was still alive when someone paid over $100 million for one of his paintings, if I had been given that $100 million rather than he, a judge would have been right to require that the money be given to Andy instead of me, regardless of whether Andy needed the money or not. It was rightfully his. Furthermore, if people started treating me like Andy Warhol and expecting me to produce the works of art he produced, they’d be sorely disappointed. Me being treated like him is not only unjust; it’s bad for the people doing it! And so is pride. It tries to seize a glory that is only justly God’s, it exalts oneself into the place of God, and let’s just say none of us would be very good at his job. Governing the whole created order, rendering perfect justice in every case, loving people unfailingly even when they are hostile toward you and keep failing you…why try to exalt yourself into that job?
Because at least then you wouldn’t have to accept the position of being lower than someone else. Don’t you feel the resistance inside you? And what does the rest of Proverbs 16:5 say about the one who is arrogant in heart? Since he is an abomination to the LORD, “be assured, he will not go unpunished.” Sometimes in this world the proud do seem to prosper and remain high, while the humble just remain low. This is an important thing to realize about the Proverbs: They are generally true descriptions of how God created the world to work, but since sin entered the world, the world often does not function the way God created it to. The less our world is functioning the way God made it to function and the shorter window of time we observe, the less we may be able to observe the truth of the proverbs. It looks like to us like the proud are honored while the humble remain low, but all the Proverbs will prove true in the end. Reflecting on how God reveals his judgment, John Calvin said something like God executes justice enough in this world to remind us that he’s there and real; the proud employee does often get fired, the proud Christian does often fall into heinous sin, but he doesn’t execute so much of his justice in this world as to lead us into thinking that this world is all there is. He leaves enough injustice remain for a time that we must continue to look forward to the ultimate day of the LORD, the day on which the judge of all the earth will do right, the day when all the proud will be brought low, and all the humble will be honored.
Are you ready for that day? How could you be? The marks of pride include a resistance to authority, a seizing of authority that isn’t ours, a resistance to advice and correction, a looking down on and taking advantage of the poor, but its seat is in the heart, the heart that resists the God-ness of God, and can’t you see that in your heart? How, then, can you go unpunished? How, then, can you be honored instead of brought low? The only way any of us can is because God first came low for us. While we were still an abomination to him, out of the infinite goodness in himself, God the Father sent God the Son to become a human. In Jesus Christ, the creator became a creature, the independent one became a dependent child, the omnipresent one occupied a 5-6 foot space, the omniscient one grew in wisdom, the omnipotent one became weak, the exalted one became low. And then, having already assumed the lower position of a human, he went even lower: The one with the right to command obedience took on our position of having to render obedience. The one who by his very nature was in authority put himself under authority, and became obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross, a death he died in our place, taking on himself the punishment that our pride deserved. We who have been proud can go unpunished because he who humbled himself for us was punished. And having humbled himself to the lowest place, God did honor him when he raised him from the dead, he ascended into heaven, and is now seated at the right hand of God, the position of highest honor.
And so now what is the path to true honor for you and me? Humility. So let’s talk about how to weaken pride and cultivate humility.
How to weaken pride and cultivate humility
Back to C.S. Lewis briefly: “If anyone would like to acquire humility, I can, I think, tell him the first step. The first step is to realize that one is proud. And a biggish step, too. At least, nothing whatever can be done before it. If you think you are not conceited, it means you are very conceited indeed.” The path to eternal honor, eternal life, is through humility. You must first admit that you are a proud sinner who cannot save him or herself and is therefore in need of someone above you coming low to save you. The gospel is a free gift; Christ has accomplished everything necessary for your salvation in his life, death, and resurrection, but as I once heard another pastor say, some gifts require humility to accept them. If someone pulled a Lexus commercial and gave you a new Lexus with a big bow wrapped around it on Christmas Day, you would probably not have to conjure up much humility to accept it. “Wow; thank you so much” would probably be your natural response. But what if someone gave you a nicely wrapped gift, you got all excited to open it to see what was inside, and inside was a bottle of mouthwash? It’s a free gift, they paid for it, but what would you have to do to accept it? You’d have to admit you have bad breath. Otherwise it’s downright offensive! And the good news of the gospel will offend you until you can admit that you’re a sinner in need of it.
Once you admit you’re a sinner in need of a savior, the humble thing to do is accept Christ as your savior, and set all your hopes on him for your righteousness before God. But what does pride say? Ok fine I’ll grant that I’m not perfect, but surely I can better myself with God’s help, right? I’ll start doing my best and praying for help and trusting God to go easy on me where I fall short. That’s what many people think becoming a Christian means, and it’s dead wrong. True conversion means a total renunciation not only of your sins, but of your efforts to make yourself good! True conversion means humbly admitting not only that you’re a sinner, but that you can contribute absolutely nothing to your salvation! And why does pride resist that? Because it means you get none of the credit for what you become or the rewards you receive. All the glory goes to God, but as you accept that, as you submit to Christ not only as the Lord you will obey but the savior you will rely upon for your righteousness, his glory shines on to you and you become truly honored. So Jesus could say, “Blessed are the poor in spirit (the lowly in spirit) for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” (Matt 5:3).
Listen to just some of the ways Christians are described in the Bible: saints, citizens of the kingdom, sons of God, the bride of Christ, chosen, beloved, priests, members of the household of God, holy, washed, sanctified, justified, righteous, redeemed, dead to sin, alive to God, and promised that one day Jesus will return to transform even our lowly bodies to be like his glorious body (Phil 3:21), provided we associate with him who was lowly on this earth, in order that we may also be glorified with him (Rom 8:17).
In closing, then, let me just share three Proverbs that through faith in Christ can help you weaken pride and cultivate humility in your life. “It is not good to eat much honey, nor is it glorious to seek one’s own glory” (Prov 25:27). Practice contentment with the life that God has assigned you, whoever appears to be above you. That’s the parallel in this Proverb. A little honey is fine, but it is not good to just keep on eating it. If God has given you some prestige in this life, that’s fine, but it is not good to just keep on seeking more of it. Much like honey, the more you seek it, the more you’ll hunger for more of it. Feeding the monster doesn’t satisfy its appetite; it strengthens it. You’ll become an addict to acclaim if you just keep seeking it. So stop. Give thanks to God for the life he’s assigned you and especially for the honor that is yours in Christ. Get busy serving God and others in the life he’s assigned you, and leave it in his hands whether to bring you up into a position of greater prestige in this life.
Second, “Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger, and not your own lips” (Prov 27:2). Stop talking about yourself. When you hear others celebrating someone else, don’t jump in and share an example of how you’ve done that too. Resist the urge to even jump in and say, “Ugh I don’t do that enough.” Rest in the honor God has bestowed upon you by grace and you won’t need to tout your own honor before others or lament your lack thereof before others.
And finally, “The crucible is for silver, and the furnace is for gold, and a man is tested by his praise” (Prov 27:21). This is a hard verse and I don’t think it’s the best translation—the idea is that as a crucible tests silver and a furnace tests gold, a man should test his praise. What’s that mean? It means that if the lips of another do praise you, you should take care how you receive it. The kind thing to say to them is usually a simple thank you, but in your heart, you have to test it. If they complement things about you that actually don’t matter very much, in your heart you have to be able to say, “Thanks, but you know that’s nothing in comparison to what I have in Christ?” If they complement godliness in your life, which does matter, in your heart you have to be able to say, “Yeah that was definitely just the grace of God; nothing good dwells in my flesh.” And on the flipside, you have to test your praise, i.e., what are you praising? You want to really weaken pride and cultivate humility? Find evidences of Christ in others and point them out to them. And most of all, engage in serious, happy, passionate praise to God himself. Test how you sing when you gather for worship with your church; if it’s lifeless, why is that? Isn’t it because some part of us is still resisting acknowledging the greatness of a being so much greater than we? Are we “too cool” for that, “above” such lavish praise to the one who is worthy of it? Give him the glory he deserves for who he is. Give him the glory he deserves for what he’s done, and you who are lowly in spirit will obtain honor.