The Appeal to Put Faith Into Action

Sermon Transcript

I was delighted recently to learn that I still knew a somewhat “hip” phrase that was unknown to my wife’s older cousin. I told her something she did was very “on brand,” and she stopped and asked me what I meant by that. I’m sure she’d have known what I meant if I had said it’s very “on brand” for Nike to put a swoosh on their shoes, but applied to a person, I explained, it means they’re doing something very consistent with their character. This week we’re ending a series we began last week on one of the shortest books in the Bible: Philemon, a letter from the apostle Paul to a man named Philemon. In it we’re looking at the question of what is “on brand” for those who have faith in Christ? We saw last week in verses 1-7 that it is “on brand” to put that faith into action, but this week we encounter the specific action Paul wants Philemon to take with his faith, and as we do we’ll see that it isn’t so much to change public policy or the course of history, though it’s interesting to note that this letter and others like it in the Bible did eventually change public policy and the course of history. But it didn’t start there. What was “on brand” for Philemon as a believer in Jesus was to receive his runaway slave, Onesimus, as a beloved brother, and even as the apostle Paul himself. So what is on brand for us as Christians? How should we put our faith into action? Before it changes the world, it starts with the people in this room with you right now. Receive one another as is fitting in the Lord. That’s the appeal I believe the Lord is making to us through this text, and to get at that we’ll look at the heart behind the appeal, the appeal, and then the confidence behind the appeal.

 

The heart behind the appeal

 

Our passage this week begins with Paul saying that though he is bold enough in Christ to command Philemon to do what is required, for love’s sake he prefers to appeal to Philemon. Paul was an apostle, and he wasn’t afraid to exercise his apostolic authority. So he could have just told Philemon what to do, and that would have carried with it the authority of Jesus Christ himself, just as Paul’s written words in scripture do. And the command would not have been arbitrary, as though Paul was using his apostolic authority to get Philemon to do his dry cleaning or something. At the end of verse 8 we see that his appeal is for Philemon to do “what is required.” His appeal is not even for Philemon to do some optional, extra credit good works, but to do “what is required.”

 

Another way of translating that phrase would be, “what is fitting.” We’ll get into the specifics of the appeal in a bit, but it at least included Philemon forgiving Onesimus and treating him as a brother. The context suggests that Onesimus used to be Philemon’s slave, but he ran away, and while away encountered Paul, who preached the gospel to him and led him to faith in Christ. Now, Paul could argue to Philemon from God’s law in Leviticus 19:18 that he should forgive Onesimus and treat him as his brother, because Leviticus 19:18 tells us to love our neighbor as ourselves, and if we were runaway slaves, we would want to be forgiven and treated as a brother by our master. He could go there, but he doesn’t. Instead, he makes his appeal on the basis of what is fitting. Fitting in light of what?

 

Remember what he said to Philemon just before this passage, which we looked at last week. He said he thanked God because he’s heard of Philemon’s love and of his faith in Jesus Christ that benefits all the saints. He prayed that the fellowship of his faith would become positively beneficial in the lives of the saints through the knowledge of every good thing that is ours, all for the sake of Jesus Christ. So now, rather than reason with Philemon about what the law requires from the law, Paul appeals to Philemon on the basis of love to do what is fitting in light of his faith in Christ Jesus, in light of every good thing that is ours in him.

 

That’s not to say it’s never fair to ask, “What does God’s law require?” in a situation; that’s a good and important question to ask in any situation. But simply knowing what God’s law requires doesn’t give you the desire to do it. The law doesn’t change the heart. So another question to ask in any given situation is, “In light of the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus, in light of every good thing that is ours in him, if I were to act in this situation for his sake, what would I do? What is fitting in the Lord?” Your answer to that question should never be contrary to or less than what God requires in his law, but asking it that way both directs the will and affects the heart.

 

And it’s clear that Paul was after Philemon’s heart and not merely Philemon’s action. He explains starting in verse 10 that his appeal is for Onesimus, and he goes on to say in verse 13 that he would have been glad to keep him with him, in order that he might serve Paul on Philemon’s behalf during his imprisonment for the gospel. And again, Paul could have appealed to his authority to insist on that: Paul’s an apostle, Onesimus was helping him during his imprisonment, and so Paul could have exercised his apostolic authority to say that for the sake of the gospel he was commandeering Onesimus’ services and would not be returning him to Philemon. Paul could even have appealed to God’s law in Deuteronomy 23:15-16, which says, “You shall not give up to his master a slave who has escaped from his master to you. He shall dwell with you, in your midst, in the place that he shall choose within one of your towns, wherever it suits him. You shall not wrong him.” Though that law was addressed to the nation-state of Israel originally, Paul could certainly have made a good argument from it that the principle from this law applies to this situation and therefore he has the right to keep Onesimus with him. But Paul didn’t make that argument. Why?

 

He tells us in verse 14: I preferred to do nothing without your consent in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion but of your own accord. He wants Philemon to do what is fitting, but he also wants Philemon to do what is fitting, rather than Paul simply doing it for him by keeping Onesimus apart from Philemon’s consent. God also wants your goodness to not be by compulsion, but of your own accord. That’s one reason Christianity is not a religion that can be truly spread by forced conversion. It’s one reason we don’t have a membership tax that specifies how much of their money each member of this church must give to join it. Though Paul did in fact have some needs that Onesimus was meeting and could have continued meeting, God has no needs. So he’s not ultimately after what you can do for him; he’s after your heart.

 

That doesn’t mean what you do doesn’t matter, as though God is only concerned with your feelings. If Philemon had responded to this letter by saying, “In my heart of hearts I promise I have really warm feelings toward Onesimus, but I’m still going to make him pay back every last penny he cost me, and I’m going to force him to serve me with harsh labor for the rest of his life as payback for what he did to me,” Philemon would not have done what is fitting. God’s not concerned with less than what we do, but he is concerned with more than what we do. He’s also concerned that the good we do come of our own accord, not because we’re being forced into it or because we think it will curry us some favor with people.

 

Now sometimes realizing that plunges Christians into endless depths of introspection, constantly assessing their motives to see, “Am I really doing this out of love for Christ?” That’s not God’s intention for you. The simpler test given to us throughout scripture is what do you do when no one is looking? On one level, it’s easy for a guy like me to get up and preach these sermons because you all are here giving me some kind of affirmation at least by continuing to show up that you like them, and that feels good. But what about when I’m at home, and the alarm clock goes off, and none of you are there to see it? Do I get up and talk to my Father who is in secret? What about when there’s an opportunity to indulge my flesh or serve my wife, and no one else will see it except her, and she’s kind of stuck with me anyway? These sorts of things reveal your heart, and God is after your heart.

 

So you see, even as Paul was calling Philemon to do what was fitting, he himself does what is fitting here, and instead of making the argument from his own authority or from Deuteronomy that he can keep Onesimus, he sends Onesimus back, so that Philemon’s goodness would not be by compulsion, but of his own accord. Furthermore, he’s aware that God may have plans for this situation beyond his own interests or desires. In the sort of imprisonment Paul was under, you didn’t get three square meals per day like in modern prisons. You were dependent on others to assist you to meet your basic needs, including doing things like delivering your letters, an important part of Paul’s ministry while in prison. That’s why someone like Onesimus would be of such value to him, but he recognizes in verse 15 that God’s purpose in sending Onesimus to him may not have been simply so Onesimus could meet his needs. Instead, it may have been simply so that Paul could lead Onesimus to Christ, and then send him back to Philemon, so that Philemon could receive him, verse 16 says, no longer as a slave, but as more than a slave—as a beloved brother.

 

We can have a hard time letting people go. Since this church first started gathering here 10 years ago, our constant lament has been the transience. Of the 40 people who started the church, 7 remain today. And of those 33, many of them were really beneficial to this church in our mission to make disciples of Jesus. Many of them were personal friends. Since then we’ve seen more come and go, some who were even converted in this church. We’re also really thankful that since then many of you who came to the city assuming you’d only be here for a few years have bought houses and chosen to stay, but we too must recognize that God has bigger purposes than just making this church as big and healthy as possible. God is concerned for the growth of his church throughout the world, which means we will need to let people go so they can go build up the body of Christ through other local churches. We ourselves were planted by the original Citylight Church that amazingly let 40 people go to plant a new church! We hope in the future to let members of this church go to plant new churches both in Philadelphia and in parts of the world that have no churches presently. On a smaller scale, the South Philly Citygroup is letting people go this fall to start the Point Breeze Citygroup.

 

Paul let Onesimus go back to Philemon instead of insisting on his right to keep him because he wanted Philemon’s goodness to spring from the heart and because he recognized that God may have other purposes for Onesimus than those that directly benefitted Paul. So that’s the heart behind his appeal. Let’s look next at the appeal itself.

 

The appeal

 

The appeal itself is alluded to in verse 16: That Philemon would receive him back no longer as a slave, but as more than a slave, as a beloved brother. So in verse 17 Paul makes the appeal directly: If you consider me your partner, receive him as you would receive me. Commentators disagree among themselves as to whether this meant Paul was telling Philemon to release Onesimus from slavery; Greco-Roman slavery was different from the American slave trade that was built on racial partiality and manstealing, two things the Bible condemns (James 2:1-13, 1 Tim 1:10), but it still seems to me that the most natural reading of verse 16 is that Philemon should no longer hold Onesimus as his slave, but instead relate to him as something more: His beloved brother. In the ancient Greco-Roman household, there was a hierarchy, and slaves were at the bottom of it. Above them were sons, who would relate to one another not as slaves, but as brothers.

 

Now that Onesimus had become a believer, he was Philemon’s brother in the Lord, and so it is fitting that Philemon would receive him as a brother in the Lord. In verse 17 Paul goes so far as to say Philemon should receive him as he would the apostle Paul himself, who Philemon definitely would not try to enslave. And Paul is aware that this may be costly for Philemon to do. He says in verse 18 that if he has wronged you at all, that should be charged to Paul’s account. Verse 11 implies Philemon wasn’t exactly a model employee, and then he ran away. If Philemon would have just been thinking like a Roman, he would have every right to receive Onesimus back as a slave, to beat him, and to work him twice as hard to make up for time lost. All these things would have been within his legal right as a citizen of the Roman Empire, but now Philemon was a citizen of a higher kingdom, the kingdom of Christ. And what is fitting in light of what is ours in Christ Jesus?

 

Paul told the Colossians in the letter he sent along with this one to the church in Colossae: “Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all” (Col 3:11)…“as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive” (Col 3:13). Two things for you to consider from this appeal, then: First, how do you receive those who are different from you in the world, especially those the world ranks below you? Second, how do you receive those who have sinned against you? Thankfully we live in a nation in which slavery has been abolished, but what about those who are different from you in other ways in the world? Though racial slavery has been abolished in America, we have inherited from it a society in which rates of poverty are noticeably higher among black Americans, even when you control for two-parent households, and one in which different cultures have developed that still tend to divide us in the world. There are also class differences within racial groups, divisions based on level of education, and then there are less formal, but other very real distinctions: We tend to want to associate mainly with those who we sense improve our social standing, who help us feel “cooler,” who have more of the world’s goods to offer, and so on.

 

But what is fitting in light of the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus? What is fitting for those who are now citizens of a kingdom in which there is not Greek or Jew, barbarian, Scythian, slave, or free? What is fitting is that we would receive one another like beloved brothers and sisters, even across the lines that divide us in the world. Take stock of your relationships: Who do you sit with and talk to at church gatherings? Who do you go out for lunch with afterwards? Who do you invite over during the week? If they are all people who are like you in the world—same racial group, same income level, same hobbies, I’m not saying that’s evil—we should receive them as beloved brothers or sisters too! But is it really fitting in the Lord to only receive those people as beloved brothers or sisters? Half the time, consider sitting with, talking to, or inviting over another member who’s different from you in the world. The conversation may be more difficult, but the opportunity there is to build the relationship more on the Lord himself, since there isn’t much else to build it on! That’s what you want to do in all your relationships with other believers, because that’s the relationship that is going to last into eternity.

 

Did you catch that back in verse 15? Paul says Onesimus was parted from Philemon for a while, so that he might receive him back forever, no longer as a slave, but as a beloved brother. It’s those who receive one another as beloved brothers and sisters who will have one another forever. So what is fitting in light of that? It’s fitting that we’d receive one another as beloved brothers and sisters now, whatever our differences in the world.

 

And what is fitting for those who have been forgiven so much in the Lord? It’s fitting that we’d forgive one another now. Forgiveness…there’s a basic virtue on which we can all agree, right? Actually, forgiveness has fallen on somewhat hard times. Before he passed, pastor Tim Keller wrote a book that’s now been published under the title Forgive, and in it he chronicles how many today are critiquing forgiveness as contrary to justice and damaging to victims. In fact, he shows compelling evidence that our cultural attitude toward forgiveness is a step backward, closer to the way someone in the Roman Empire would have viewed it, such as at the time this letter was written. Like most traditional societies prior to Christian influence, the Roman Empire was pagan, and driven by honor and shame. And as Christian influence on our society has waned, there are multiple ways it’s beginning to look more like that pre-Christian pagan society—the sexual ethics are perhaps the most visible, but attitudes toward forgiveness are another way.

 

In an honor/shame society, forgiveness is a sign of weakness, not a virtue. This society still exists to some extent in street culture in Philadelphia. You can imagine if someone wrongs you in that culture, your friends would say to you, “You just gonna let him do you like that? Don’t be a punk” or some other more colorful word. In other words, vindicate your honor. Get revenge. You can imagine Philemon’s Roman neighbors saying something similar to him: “You just gonna let this slave do you like that?” Keller presents compelling evidence, though, that our majority culture, not just our street culture, is also like the older honor cultures “but with a new twist that borrows from the therapeutic.” Here’s what he writes:

“Modern culture teaches us that our primary concern is to demand respect an affirmation of our own identity. In this it mirrors the desire for respect and honor that drove pagan cultures centuries ago. People today are encouraged to respond with outrage at even the slightest offense, as was true in the older societies. However, the difference today is this: Modern therapy sees individuals as being oppressed and controlled by society’s expectations, roles, and structures. Greater honor and moral virtue are assigned to people the more they have been victimized and subjugated by society or others in person. The further down the existing social ladder one is, the greater honor is possible. Ironically, then, we have developed ‘a shame and honor culture of victimhood.’”

 

What that means, then, is if you’ve been wronged today and you’re part of the majority culture, instead of hearing your neighbors say, “how you gonna let him do you like that?” like Philemon or someone on the streets might, you’re going to hear your neighbors say, “You need to stand up for yourself. You have a right to not be treated that way.” You aren’t going to hear your neighbors say, “Receive him as you would receive me. If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account.” It used to be that if you went to a therapist and told them you were having an issue with your parents or your spouse, they’d encourage you to forgive them, but now the therapist is just as likely to help you feel even more angry and justified than when you came in, and to mainly help you figure out how to cut off your parents or get a divorce without having to feel guilty about it. That’s what’s fitting, frankly, given our cultural assumptions, and revenge would have been fitting for Philemon, given his cultural assumptions.

 

And yet here is Paul, writing to Philemon, saying, “Receive him as you would receive me. If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account.” Why did that seem fitting to Paul? Can’t you almost hear the Spirit of Jesus himself, speaking through Paul? Who are the real runaway slaves, after all, running away from the only one who actually does have the rightful claim of ownership over us? Since Genesis 3, we all, Paul and Philemon included, have been running from our creator. And yet our creator is also our redeemer, who became man, and interceded for us, much like Paul is interceding here for Onesimus. On the cross it’s as though Jesus stood before God and said of his people, “Receive them as you would receive me. Though they have wronged you, charge it to my account.” On the cross God did charge the wrongs of his people to Christ’s account, and Christ paid for them in full. And we know the payment was accepted, because Christ rose from the dead on the third day and ascended into heaven, where he still lives to intercede for our forgiveness now. That’s the only reason Paul and Philemon could be forgiven. That’s the only reason you and I can be forgiven. And that’s why Philemon had placed his faith in Christ Jesus.

 

So if that’s the case, what is now fitting? It’s fitting that he would forgive Onesimus. Brothers and sisters, who needs your forgiveness today? When someone has truly wronged you, it is costly to forgive. Not only your neighbors, but your own flesh just wants to jump up and say, “I’ve been wronged! Now I must execute justice!” but do you really believe that there is one who already satisfied the demand of God’s justice against your sin? Then didn’t he also satisfy the demand of God’s justice against your brother or sister’s sin? Who are you, then, to say that your demand must still be satisfied? If the government has a demand of justice still to be met, that’s a different story. If someone broke the law, you’re responsible to cooperate with the governing authorities. But in most cases that’s not what’s happened, and even then, what is fitting in the Lord for those who have such a savior as Jesus? We receive one another as brothers or sisters, and whatever wrongs others have done us, we recognize them as having already been charged to Christ’s account, and we forgive.

 

Revenge can be sneaky too. It’s not always outright, active, observable pain inflicted on the one who wronged you; in fact, it often isn’t. Often it’s the cold shoulder, the relational distance, the “I won’t be texting that person to hang out” anymore, the seemingly small negative comment about them you drop to others. But the appeal to Philemon is more than just, “Don’t beat him.” It’s receive him as a beloved brother, receive him even, Paul says, as you would receive me, with all the honor and affection you’d show Paul as an apostle. Yes, there are rare cases where the wrong is so severe that it entails a change to the earthly relationship going forward, even when forgiveness is sincerely extended. If a wife is being beaten by her husband, forgiveness doesn’t mean she receives him back as a husband and makes it easy for him to do it again. But honestly, these are rare cases. Don’t let the exceptions become the rule. In the majority of cases in which we feel wronged by others, we haven’t even been wronged, in many more cases the wrongs are so small that we should forgive them without even saying anything, and even in the minority of cases in which personal confrontation is necessary for the good of the offender and the restoration of the relationship, it is fitting in the Lord that we forgive as we have been forgiven, and restore the relationship in full, just as God has fully restored our relationship with him.

 

Maybe you aren’t sure how to do that in a relationship you’re in. That’d be a great thing to discuss over lunch today or with some brothers and sisters this week: I want to forgive this person and I’m realizing now I haven’t really. What should I do? By the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, it can be done, and so Paul was even confident that Philemon would do it. Let’s look last, then, at the confidence behind this appeal.

 

The confidence behind the appeal

 

After making his appeal, Paul writes in verse 21 that he is confident of Philemon’s obedience, and that he knows Philemon will do even more than what he says. Notice again that though Paul is not appealing to him from his authority as an apostle or on the basis of biblical law, he does see Philemon’s response as a matter of obedience. But he’s confident of his obedience, and that he’ll do even more than Paul says. What that “more” is is hard to say. Perhaps it is releasing Onesimus from slavery, perhaps it is sending Onesimus back to Paul, perhaps it is charging nothing even to Paul’s account, though Paul offered to personally pay for whatever wrong Onesimus had done. Whatever it is, Paul is confident that he will do it.

 

Why? Well, remember what Paul said in the beginning of the letter. He thanked God for Philemon’s faith and love in Christ Jesus. He talked about how the hearts of the saints had been refreshed through him. Now here he’s asking Philemon to refresh his heart, which is exactly what Philemon has a reputation for doing! And why did Paul thank God for these things in Philemon? Because he knows they were the work of God’s grace in Philemon’s life. So we too should have confidence that by the power of God’s Spirit, he has what we need to do what he calls us to do. Tonight, Lord willing, the book club I’ve led this summer with a number of you through Augustine’s Confessions will conclude, and we’ll discuss Augustine’s prayer: “Give what you command, and command what you will.” God must give us the grace to do what he commands, but if you are in Christ today, that grace is at work in you! By God’s grace, you can receive one another as is fitting in the Lord, even across the lines that divide you in the world, and even when you have sinned against one another. That kind of heart-level obedience is possible today because God has given you a new heart if you are in Christ.

 

You should not, however, have that confidence if you are not in Christ. Why would it be fitting for you to forgive when you don’t believe you’ve been forgiven far worse sins by a far holier God? I don’t doubt that you may still sincerely desire to forgive others, but doesn’t some part of you still say in your heart, “I’d never do what they did” or at least, “I don’t do things like that”? Maybe you’d stop short of taking revenge on someone, but to really treat them as a beloved brother or sister? Why bother? Why not rather just cut them out of your life and move on? You must first receive God’s forgiveness in Christ and be adopted into his family before you have any good reason for confidence to receive others who are different from you or who have wronged you as beloved brothers or sisters.

 

That’s why we can’t use this style of appeal all the time. Governments, for example, can’t say to citizens, “Though we are bold enough to command you not to murder, we want to appeal to you out of love instead, confident that you’ll obey.” In reality, sometimes citizens don’t obey, and God has given the government the sword so that when someone disobeys that command, they can force them into handcuffs. Parents, don’t try to parent your children this way, especially before they show any evidence that they truly love God and hate their sin. God has given you the rod for a reason. But within the body of Christ, we should be able to say to one another that we have seen the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus in one another’s lives. Philemon was not some super Christian. In Paul’s letter to the Colossians, addressed to all the believers in Colossae, he similarly thanks God for their faith in Christ Jesus and their love for all the saints (Col 1:4). If those things aren’t present in someone’s life, we shouldn’t affirm them as a Christian by receiving them into the membership of the church.

 

But once we have, we should be confident of their obedience, not as though their obedience will be perfect—in this life, it never is. But we should have confidence that Christians, deep down, because of the Spirit’s work in their life, want to obey, want to do what is required, want to live in a way that is fitting in light of all that is ours in Christ Jesus. Sometimes Christians are nervous to call one another to obedience because they fear the other person won’t respond well. I confess I functioned like this a lot in the early years of my pastoral ministry, and at times still do. When I had to confront someone about sin in their life and call them to obedience, I was afraid to do so because I assumed they’d get mad at me. And hey, sometimes people did. But many more times the Lord rebuked my unbelief by showing me people, you all, who actually wanted to obey, and who actually appreciated the correction. Let’s extend that confidence to one another, that of our own accord, not as a matter of compulsion, in service of the Lord’s greater purposes, because of all that is ours in Christ, we will receive one another as is fitting in the Lord.

The heart behind the appeal

Our passage this week begins with Paul saying that though he is bold enough in Christ to command Philemon to do what is required, for love’s sake he prefers to appeal to Philemon. Paul was an apostle, and he wasn’t afraid to exercise his apostolic authority. So he could have just told Philemon what to do, and that would have carried with it the authority of Jesus Christ himself, just as Paul’s written words in scripture do. And the command would not have been arbitrary, as though Paul was using his apostolic authority to get Philemon to do his dry cleaning or something, which would have been an abuse of his authority. At the end of verse 8 we see that his appeal is for Philemon to do “what is required.” His appeal is not even for Philemon to do some optional, extra credit good works, but to do “what is required.”

Another way of translating that phrase would be, “what is fitting.” We’ll get into the specifics of the appeal in a bit, but it at least included Philemon forgiving Onesimus and treating him as a brother. The context suggests that Onesimus used to be Philemon’s slave, but he ran away, and while away encountered Paul, who preached the gospel to him and led him to faith in Christ. Now, Paul could argue to Philemon from God’s law in Leviticus 19:18 that he should forgive Onesimus and treat him as his brother, because Leviticus 19:18 tells us to love our neighbor as ourselves, and if we were runaway slaves, we would want to be forgiven and treated as a brother by our master. He could go there, but he doesn’t. Instead, he makes his appeal on the basis of what is fitting. Fitting in light of what?

Remember what he said to Philemon just before this passage, which we looked at last week. He said he thanked God because he’s heard of Philemon’s love and of his faith in Jesus Christ that benefits all the saints. He prayed that the fellowship of his faith would become positively beneficial in the lives of the saints through the knowledge of every good thing that is ours, all for the sake of Jesus Christ. So now, rather than reason with Philemon about what the law requires from the law, Paul appeals to Philemon on the basis of love to do what is fitting in light of his faith in Christ Jesus, in light of every good thing that is ours in him. 

That’s not to say it’s never fair to ask, “What does God’s law require?” in a situation; that’s a good and important question to ask in any situation. But simply knowing what God’s law requires doesn’t give you the desire to do it. The law doesn’t change the heart. So another question to ask in any given situation is, “In light of the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus, in light of every good thing that is ours in him, if I were to act in this situation for his sake, what would I do? What is fitting in the Lord?” That kind of question both directs the will and affects the heart. 

And it’s clear that Paul was after Philemon’s heart and not merely Philemon’s action. He explains starting in verse 10 that his appeal is for Onesimus, and he goes on to say in verse 13 that he would have been glad to keep him with him, in order that he might serve Paul on Philemon’s behalf during his imprisonment for the gospel. And again, Paul could have appealed to his authority to insist on that: Paul’s an apostle, Onesimus was helping him during his imprisonment, and so Paul could have exercised his apostolic authority to say that for the sake of the gospel he was commandeering Onesimus’ services and would not be returning him to Philemon. Paul could even have appealed to God’s law in Deuteronomy 23:15-16, which says, “You shall not give up to his master a slave who has escaped from his master to you. He shall dwell with you, in your midst, in the place that he shall choose within one of your towns, wherever it suits him. You shall not wrong him.” Though that law was addressed to the nation-state of Israel originally, Paul could certainly have made a good argument from it that the principle from this law applies to this situation and therefore he has the right to keep Onesimus with him. But Paul didn’t make that argument. Why?

He tells us in verse 14: I preferred to do nothing without your consent in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion but of your own accord. He wants Philemon to do what is fitting, but he also wants Philemon to do what is fitting, rather than Paul simply doing it for him by keeping Onesimus apart from Philemon’s consent. God also wants your goodness to not be by compulsion, but of your own accord. That’s one reason Christianity is not a religion that can be truly spread by forced conversion. It’s one reason we don’t have a membership tax that specifies how much of their money each member of this church must give to join it. Though Paul did in fact have some needs that Onesimus was meeting and could have continued meeting, God has no needs. So he’s not ultimately after what you can do for him; he’s after your heart.

That doesn’t mean what you do doesn’t matter, as though God is only concerned with your feelings. If Philemon had responded to this letter by saying, “In my heart of hearts I promise I have really warm feelings toward Onesimus, but I’m still going to make him pay back every last penny he cost me, and I’m going to force him to serve me with harsh labor for the rest of his life as payback for what he did to me,” Philemon would not have done what is fitting. God’s not concerned with less than what we do, but he is concerned with more than what we do. He’s also concerned that the good we do come of our own accord, not because we’re being forced into it or because we think it will curry us some favor with people.

Now sometimes realizing that plunges Christians into endless depths of introspection, constantly assessing their motives to see, “Am I really doing this out of love for Christ?” That’s not God’s intention for you. The simpler test given to us throughout scripture is what do you do when no one is looking? On one level, it’s easy for a guy like me to get up and preach these sermons because you all are here giving me some kind of affirmation at least by continuing to show up that you like them, and that feels good. But what about when I’m at home, and the alarm goes off, and none of you are there to see it? Do I get up and talk to my Father who is in secret? What about when there’s an opportunity to indulge my flesh or serve my wife, and no one else will see it except her, and she’s kind of stuck with me anyway? These sorts of things reveal your heart, and God is after your heart. 

So you see, even as Paul was calling Philemon to do what was fitting, he himself does what is fitting here, and instead of making the argument from his own authority or from Deuteronomy that he can keep Onesimus, he sends Onesimus back, so that Philemon’s goodness would not be by compulsion, but of his own accord. Furthermore, he’s aware that God may have plans for this situation beyond his own interests or desires. In the sort of imprisonment Paul was under, you didn’t get three square meals per day like in modern prisons. You were dependent on others to assist you to meet your basic needs, including doing things like delivering your letters, an important part of Paul’s ministry while in prison. That’s why someone like Onesimus would be of such value to him, but he recognizes in verse 15 that God’s purpose in sending Onesimus to him may not have been simply so Onesimus could meet his needs. Instead, it may have been simply so that Paul could lead Onesimus to Christ, and then send him back to Philemon, so that Philemon could receive him, verse 16 says, no longer as a slave, but as more than a slave—as a beloved brother. 

We can have a hard time letting people go. Since this church first started gathering here 10 years ago, our constant lament has been the transience. Of the 40 people who started the church, 7 remain today. And of those 33, many of them were really beneficial to this church in our mission to make disciples of Jesus. Many of them were personal friends. Since then we’ve seen more come and go, some who were even converted in this church. We’re also really thankful that since then many of you who came to the city assuming you’d only be here for a few years have bought houses and chosen to stay, but we too must recognize that God has bigger purposes than just making this church as big and healthy as possible. God is concerned for the growth of his church throughout the world, which means we will need to let people go so they can go build up the body of Christ through other local churches. We ourselves were planted by the original Citylight Church that amazingly let 40 people go to plant a new church! We hope in the future to let members of this church go to plant new churches both in Philadelphia and in parts of the world that have no churches presently. On a smaller scale, the South Philly Citygroup is letting people go this fall to start the Point Breeze Citygroup. Parents, are you preparing for the day when you will let your children go from your home, even though they bring you such joy, because you know that God has bigger purposes for them than increasing your joy? 

Paul let Onesimus go back to Philemon instead of insisting on his right to keep him because he wanted Philemon’s goodness to spring from the heart and because he recognized that God may have other purposes for Onesimus than those that directly benefitted Paul. So that’s the heart behind his appeal. Let’s look next at the appeal itself.

The appeal

The appeal itself is alluded to in verse 16: That Philemon would receive him back no longer as a slave, but as more than a slave, as a beloved brother. So in verse 17 Paul makes the appeal directly: If you consider me your partner, receive him as you would receive me. Commentators disagree among themselves as to whether this meant Paul was telling Philemon to release Onesimus from slavery; Greco-Roman slavery was different from the American slave trade that was built on racial partiality and manstealing, two things the Bible condemns (James 2:1-13, 1 Tim 1:10), but it still seems to me that the most natural reading of verse 16 is that Philemon should no longer hold Onesimus as his slave, but instead relate to him as something more: His beloved brother. In the ancient Greco-Roman household, there was a hierarchy, and slaves were at the bottom of it. Above them were sons, who would relate to one another not as slaves, but as brothers. 

Now that Onesimus had become a believer, he was Philemon’s brother in the Lord, and so it is fitting that Philemon would receive him as a brother in the Lord. In verse 17 Paul goes so far as to say Philemon should receive him as he would the apostle Paul himself, who Philemon definitely would not try to enslave. And Paul is aware that this may be costly for Philemon to do. He says in verse 18 that if he has wronged you at all, that should be charged to Paul’s account. Verse 11 implies Philemon wasn’t exactly a model employee, and then he ran away. If Philemon would have just been thinking like a Roman, he would have every right to receive Onesimus back as a slave, to beat him, and to work him twice as hard to make up for time lost. All these things would have been within his legal right as a citizen of the Roman Empire, but now Philemon was a citizen of a higher kingdom, the kingdom of Christ. And what is fitting in light of what is ours in Christ Jesus?

Paul told the Colossians in the letter he sent along with this one to the church in Colossae: “Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all” (Col 3:11)…“as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive” (Col 3:13). Two things for you to consider from this appeal, then: First, how do you receive those who are different from you in the world, especially those the world ranks below you? Second, how do you receive those who have sinned against you? Thankfully we live in a nation in which slavery has been abolished, but what about those who are different from you in other ways in the world? Though racial slavery has been abolished in America, we have inherited from it a society in which rates of poverty are noticeably higher among black Americans, even when you control for two-parent households, and one in which different cultures have developed that still tend to divide us in the world. There are also class differences within racial groups, divisions based on level of education, and then there are less formal, but other very real distinctions: We tend to want to associate mainly with those who we sense improve our social standing, who help us feel “cooler,” who have more of the world’s goods to offer. 

But what is fitting in light of the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus? What is fitting for those who are now citizens of a kingdom in which there is not Greek or Jew, barbarian, Scythian, slave, or free? What is fitting is that we would receive one another like beloved brothers and sisters, even across the lines that divide us in the world. Take stock of your relationships: Who do you sit with and talk to at church gatherings? Who do you go out for lunch with afterwards? Who do you invite over during the week? If they are all people who are like you in the world—same racial group, same income level, same hobbies–I’m not saying that’s evil—we should receive them as beloved brothers or sisters too! But is it really fitting in the Lord to only receive those people as beloved brothers or sisters? Half the time, consider sitting with, talking to, or inviting over another member who’s different from you in the world. The conversation may be more difficult, but the opportunity there is to build the relationship more on the Lord himself, since there isn’t much else to build it on! That’s what you want to do in all your relationships with other believers, because that’s the relationship that is going to last into eternity. 

Did you catch that back in verse 15? Paul says Onesimus was parted from Philemon for a while, so that he might receive him back forever, no longer as a slave, but as a beloved brother. It’s those who receive one another as beloved brothers and sisters who will have one another forever. So what is fitting in light of that? It’s fitting that we’d receive one another as beloved brothers and sisters now, whatever our differences in the world.

And what is fitting for those who have been forgiven so much in the Lord? It’s fitting that we’d forgive one another now. Forgiveness…there’s a basic virtue on which we can all agree, right? Actually, forgiveness has fallen on somewhat hard times. Before he passed, pastor Tim Keller wrote a book that’s now been published under the title Forgive, and in it he chronicles how many today are critiquing forgiveness as contrary to justice and damaging to victims. In fact, he shows compelling evidence that our attitude toward forgiveness is a step backward, closer to the way someone in the Roman Empire would have viewed it, such as at the time this letter was written. Like most traditional societies prior to Christian influence, the Roman Empire was pagan, and driven by honor and shame. And as Christian influence on our society has waned, there are multiple ways it’s beginning to look more like that pre-Christian pagan society—the sexual ethics are perhaps the most visible, but attitudes toward forgiveness are another way.

In an honor/shame society, forgiveness is a sign of weakness, not a virtue. This society still exists to some extent in street culture in Philadelphia. You can imagine if someone wrongs you in that culture, your friends would say to you, “You just gonna let him do you like that? Don’t be a punk” or some other more colorful word. In other words, vindicate your honor. Get revenge. You can imagine Philemon’s Roman neighbors saying something similar to him: “You just gonna let this slave do you like that?” Keller presents compelling evidence, though, that our majority culture, not just our street culture, is also like the older honor cultures “but with a new twist that borrows from the therapeutic.” Here’s what he writes:

“Modern culture teaches us that our primary concern is to demand respect an affirmation of our own identity. In this it mirrors the desire for respect and honor that drove pagan cultures centuries ago. People today are encouraged to respond with outrage at even the slightest offense, as was true in the older societies. However, the difference today is this: Modern therapy sees individuals as being oppressed and controlled by society’s expectations, roles, and structures. Greater honor and moral virtue are assigned to people the more they have been victimized and subjugated by society or others in person. The further down the existing social ladder one is, the greater honor is possible. Ironically, then, we have developed ‘a shame and honor culture of victimhood.’”

What that means, then, is if you’ve been wronged today and you’re part of the majority culture, instead of hearing your neighbors say, “how you gonna let him do you like that?” like Philemon or someone on the streets might, you’re going to hear your neighbors say, “You need to stand up for yourself. You have a right to not be treated that way.” You aren’t going to hear your neighbors say, “Receive him as you would receive me. If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account.” It used to be that if you went to a therapist and told them you were having an issue with your parents or your spouse, they’d encourage you to forgive them, but now the therapist is just as likely to help you feel even more angry and justified than you came in, and to mainly help you figure out how to cut off your parents or get a divorce without having to feel too guilty about it. That’s what’s fitting, frankly, given our cultural assumptions, and revenge would have been fitting for Philemon, given his cultural assumptions.

And yet here is Paul, writing to Philemon, saying, “Receive him as you would receive me. If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account.” Why did that seem fitting to Paul? Can’t you almost hear the Spirit of Jesus himself, speaking through Paul? Who are the real runaway slaves, after all, running away from the only one who actually does have the rightful claim of ownership over us? Since Genesis 3, we all, Paul and Philemon included, have been running from our creator. And yet our creator is also our redeemer, who became man, and interceded for us, much like Paul is interceding here for Onesimus. On the cross it’s as though Jesus stood before God and said of his people, “Receive them as you would receive me. Though they have wronged you, charge it to my account.” On the cross God did charge the wrongs of his people to Christ’s account, and Christ paid for them in full. And we know the payment was accepted, because Christ rose from the dead on the third day and ascended into heaven, where he still lives to intercede for our forgiveness now. That’s the only reason Paul and Philemon could be forgiven. That’s the only reason you and I can be forgiven. And that’s why Philemon had placed his faith in Christ Jesus.

So if that’s the case, what is now fitting? It’s fitting that he would forgive Onesimus. Brothers and sisters, who needs your forgiveness today? When someone has truly wronged you, it is costly to forgive. Not only your neighbors, but your own flesh just wants to jump up and say, “I’ve been wronged! Now I must execute justice!” but do you really believe that there is one who already satisfied the demand of God’s justice against your sin? Then didn’t he also satisfy the demand of God’s justice against your brother or sister’s sin? Who are you, then, to say that your demand must still be satisfied? If the government has a demand of justice still to be met, that’s a different story. If someone broke the law, you’re responsible to cooperate with the governing authorities. But in most cases that’s not what’s happened, and even then, what is fitting in the Lord for those who have such a savior as Jesus? We receive one another as brothers or sisters, and whatever wrongs others have done us, we recognize them as having already been charged to Christ’s account, and we forgive. 

Revenge can be sneaky too. It’s not always outright, active, observable pain inflicted on the one who wronged you; in fact, it often isn’t. Often it’s the cold shoulder, the relational distance, the “I won’t be texting that person to hang out” anymore, the seemingly small negative comment about them you drop to others. But the appeal to Philemon is more than just, “Don’t beat him.” It’s receive him as a beloved brother, receive him even, Paul says, as you would receive me, with all the honor and affection you’d show Paul as an apostle. Yes, there are rare cases where the wrong is so severe that it entails a change to the earthly relationship going forward, even when forgiveness is sincerely extended. If a wife is being beaten by her husband, forgiveness doesn’t mean she receives him back as a husband and makes it easy for him to do it again. But honestly, these are rare cases. Don’t let the exceptions become the rule. In the majority of cases in which we feel wronged by others, we haven’t even been wronged, in many more cases the wrongs are so small that we should forgive them without even saying anything, and even in the minority of cases in which personal confrontation is necessary for the good of the offender, it is fitting in the Lord that we forgive as we have been forgiven, and restore the relationship in full, even as we have been restored to a fully reconciled relationship with God.

Maybe you aren’t sure how to do that in a relationship you’re in. Again, that’d be a great thing to discuss over lunch today or with some other brothers and sisters this week: I want to forgive this person and I’m realizing now I haven’t really. What should I do? By the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, it can be done, and so Paul was even confident that Philemon would do it. Let’s look last, then, at the confidence behind this appeal.

The confidence behind the appeal

After making his appeal, Paul writes in verse 21 that he is confident of Philemon’s obedience, and that he knows Philemon will do even more than what he says. Notice again that though Paul is not appealing to him from his authority as an apostle or on the basis of biblical law, he does see Philemon’s response as a matter of obedience. But he’s confident of his obedience, and that he’ll do even more than Paul says. What that more is is hard to say. Perhaps it is releasing Onesimus from slavery, perhaps it is sending Onesimus back to Paul, perhaps it is charging nothing even to Paul’s account, though Paul offered to personally pay for whatever wrong Onesimus had done. Whatever it is, Paul is confident that he will do it.

Why? Well, remember what Paul said in the beginning of the letter. He thanked God for Philemon’s faith and love in Christ Jesus. He talked about how the hearts of the saints had been refreshed through him. Now here he’s asking Philemon to refresh his heart, which is exactly what Philemon has a reputation for doing! And why did Paul thank God for these things in Philemon? Because he knows they were the work of God’s grace in Philemon’s life. So we too should have a measure of confidence that by the power of God’s Spirit, he has what we need to do what he calls us to do. Tonight, Lord willing, the book club I’ve led this summer with a number of you through Augustine’s Confessions will conclude, and we’ll discuss Augustine’s prayer: “Give what you command, and command what you will.” God must give us the grace to do what he commands, but if you are in Christ today, that grace is at work in you! By God’s grace, you can receive one another as is fitting in the Lord, even across the lines that divide you in the world, and even when you have sinned against one another. That kind of heart-level obedience is possible today because God has given you a new heart if you are in Christ.

You should not, however, have that confidence if you are not in Christ. Why would it be fitting for you to forgive when you don’t believe you’ve been forgiven far worse sins by a far holier God? I don’t doubt that you may still sincerely desire to forgive others, but doesn’t some part of you still say in your heart, “I’d never do what they did” or at least, “I don’t do things like that”? Maybe you’d stop short of taking revenge on them, but to really receive them as a beloved brother or sister? Why bother? Maybe you appreciate diversity in theory, but why really expend the energy to receive those who are divided from you in the world as beloved brother or sister if you haven’t actually been made brothers and sisters in Christ? You must first receive God’s forgiveness in Christ and be adopted into his family before you have any good reason for confidence to receive others who are different from you or who have wronged you as beloved brothers or sisters.

That’s why we can’t use this style of appeal all the time. Governments, for example, can’t say to citizens, “Though we are bold enough to command you not to murder, we want to appeal to you out of love instead, confident that you’ll obey.” In reality, sometimes citizens don’t obey, and God has given the government the sword so that when someone disobeys that command, they can force them into handcuffs. Parents, don’t try to parent your children this way, especially before they show any evidence that they truly love God and hate their sin. God has given you the rod for a reason. But within the body of Christ, we should be able to say to one another that we have seen the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus in one another’s lives. Philemon was not some super Christian. In Paul’s letter to the Colossians, addressed to all the believers in Colossae, he similarly thanks God for their faith in Christ Jesus and their love for all the saints (Col 1:4). If those things aren’t present in someone’s life, we shouldn’t affirm them as a Christian by receiving them into the membership of the church. 

But once we have, we should be confident of their obedience, not as though their obedience will be perfect—in this life, it never is. But we should have confidence that Christians, deep down, because of the Spirit’s work in their life, want to obey, want to do what is required, want to live in a way that is fitting in light of all that is ours in Christ Jesus. Sometimes Christians are nervous to call one another to obedience because they fear the other person won’t respond well. I confess I functioned like this a lot in the early years of my pastoral ministry, and at times still do. I sometimes preached as though everyone was going to go and disobey everything I said, and when I had to confront someone about sin in their life and call them to obedience, I was afraid to do so because I assumed they’d get mad at me. And hey, sometimes people did disobey, and sometimes people did get mad. But many more times the Lord rebuked my unbelief by showing me people, you all, who actually wanted to obey, and who actually appreciated the correction. Let’s extend that confidence to one another, that of our own accord, not as a matter of compulsion, in service of the Lord’s greater purposes, because of all that is ours in Christ, we will receive one another as is fitting in the Lord.